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  • Writer's pictureJessica Joines

Meeting Fear with Compassion

Updated: May 30, 2021


I want you to know that if you’re afraid right now, it’s normal. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, or feel embarrassed about. In fact, there’s nothing more human than to feel fear. It’s what we do. We fear. This IS an absolutely essential part of being human. So much so, that it would be strange if you weren’t experiencing fear right now.

That’s why — I welcome your fear. I invite you to BE with your fear right now. In this moment. Not tomorrow; but now. No more hiding, resisting or judging it. Instead, let’s acknowledge its presence.

Because that’s what your fear is asking you to do. Your fear is seeking to have a voice. It wants to be understood.


You might say I spend a lot of time focused on the eighty-five percent. The 85% of the incessant daily worries, doubts and fears we have, that never come to fruition*. This is out of the total 16,000+ thoughts we have every single day; 80% of which are negative, fear-based thoughts. And again, 85% of which, never take place.

I lived in the 85% for many, many years. Until I had a shift in perception.

What I’ve come to understand is that each of our relationships with fear is a direct result of the human condition we are here to experience — the ego. The voice of fear in our heads that presents itself as the voice of reason. The one we’re meant to initially identify with so deeply. That it has the possibility of eventually becoming unbearable enough to trigger us into becoming the observer. And ultimately onto the path of remembrance. Which is the ultimate purpose of why we’re here.

Like so many, I spent most my life living the above stats deeply and fervently. My alignment to fear took me through endless years of self sabotage, compromising my dreams and everything I ever truly wanted. All the way to the brink of despair, which triggered my own awakening experience, and onto the path of remembering.

Through this journey, I learned that becoming reunited with our true self, despite the fear, is the lesson we’re here to learn. And part of that includes, being with, walking through, and understanding, all forms of fear.

Right now this opportunity resides within the 15%. Not the 85%, where I usually put the majority of my focus. The fifteen percent of fears that are anchored to a deeper form of truth; and even have a possibility of happening.


These times are calling us to be with our deepest fears. The very real fears — that some of us might end up experiencing. Or already are experiencing. From fears about our health or that of those we love; to money and financial concerns; to the impact this will have on our communities.

These fears deserve our attention and our compassion. They deserve to be heard. To be nurtured and honored. Not repressed, resisted or judged.

Why? Because they are YOU. And you deserve nothing less.


As a society, we’re pretty uncomfortable with raw emotions, like fear. So much so, that we’ve grown accustomed to not feeling. In fact, when turbulent emotions rise to the surface, we tend to judge them, more than we feel them. Which is the exact opposite of what’s needed right now.

Mostly, because resistance of our feelings, has the opposite effect on them. It grows them. Moreover, it’s an insidious way of disavowing you.

Instead, I’d like to invite you to be vulnerable. To sit with the fear you are currently feeling from a place of love and understanding. Choose to be one with whatever fears are coming up. Without an opinion or an immediate assessment. Just for now. Allow yourself to simply be with how you are feeling. And to be OK with this.

Because guess what? The way through fear is one of acknowledging, honoring and understanding. Your fear is asking you to have a voice for a reason. Because it always contains an important message for your personal healing and growth.

If you accept this invitation. And if you feel called to do the inner work fear is calling us all forth to do at this time. Then, here are some ways you can do so, with compassion.


  1. Humble Listening: The first step in practicing compassion for your fear is to become aware of it. Take a moment to sit quietly and gently; and ask yourself, “What am I truly afraid of?” Then allow yourself to become aware — the observer — of your deepest fears.

  2. Simple Acknowledgment: Fear is not the enemy, but a voice asking to be heard. It wants to be acknowledged, not ignored. So once you are aware of your deepest fears, admit them out-loud to yourself, or to another. This step is what initiates the eventual release of them.

  3. Feel, Then Feel Some More: Emotions are to be honored through the FEELING of them. You have to feel to release; there is no other way. So feel. Be one with your feelings in this moment. Cry, scream; do whatever you need to do to let it all out.

  4. Understand It: Fear always carries a profound message, about your own potential for deeper healing. When and if you feel called, ask: “What is this showing me about what truly needs to be healed within me?” Then without judgement, observe. As outdated beliefs, old storylines, and/or past pain rises to the surface.

  5. See the Gift: Seeing the gift is a choice (and not one you need to make). But if you do, ask: “Why / how is this happening FOR me?” Rather than TO me. A subtle, but important difference. When you do this, you’ll likely be filled with overwhelming gratitude. And eventually an understanding that we’re always having the experience we most need for our growth.

  6. Claim Power to Shift: Once you’ve done the work, remember that you always have the power to shift. You don’t need to sit in the energy of fear. And you don’t need to be completely consumed by the current crisis; if you choose not to be. Exercise your power through doing what makes you happy; thinking positive thoughts; and visualizing positive outcomes.

Finally, give yourself permission to do none of this well. This is a process, not something to perfect. Compassion for oneself, especially the darker aspects, is a practice of personal bravery, overtime. It does not come easy to most; and certainly not for me.

This imperfect process is about receiving moment-to-moment validations about the truth of who you really are. Using self-directed actions of love to illuminate the way. It’s uncomfortable and messy.

But in the deep confines of this new level of oneness with self, you will come to know more of your true self. You will possess an understanding of yourself, that you didn’t have before. Through doing what we’ve all come here to do — heal.

Watch Jessica’s latest class on ‘Meeting Fear with Compassion’ HERE.

Published on Thrive Global, April 2, 2020


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